Viewpoint: How One Nice Girl Got the Corner Office

When Dr. Lois P. Frankel speaks at the AFP Annual Conference Oct. 11, expect to find me sitting in the front row -- living proof that so-called “nice girls” can make it to a corner office.

Dr. Frankel, of course, is the famous author of Nice Girls Don’t Get the Corner Office: 101 Unconscious Mistakes Women Make That Sabotage Their Careers. A psychiatrist with two decades in the field of employee development, Dr. Frankel is clearly qualified to provide tips, and she has an engaging knowledge of popular culture. Her book instantly became a bestseller on Amazon.com and, judging from the desks of young women in my office, became a cult sensation in the business world.

The proverbial nice girl, I picked it up myself.

Nice Girls begins with advice that would make Mother proud: Don’t skip meetings; Don’t wear skirts slit up your thigh; Don’t eat cookies at your desk.  Who could object?  It even has a tip that I as a morning-paper-chess-puzzler really liked: Learn to play chess.  It will help you think strategically.

But the book veers down paths contrary to my own experience, not that I have any other qualifications to assess them.  After reading several of Dr. Frankel’s chapters, I’m here to tell you that in many of today’s business situations, nice girls can win.

The chapter against Viewing Men in Authority as Father Figures got my goat because I’ve played the role of novice successfully once or twice.  I’ll never forget the day early in my career when a division head called to say, “Elizabeth, I’m about to teach you the art of forecasting.”  Being graced with this special coaching had nothing to do with professional appearance or demeanor, traits recommended by Dr. Frankel and ones that I didn’t possess.  Rather, I suspect this senior executive saw a bookish person who liked spreadsheets, a “nice girl,” perhaps a daughter.  My own advice to those early in a career is to learn from mentors whenever you can, no matter their gender.

Likewise the section on Pinching Company Pennies didn’t ring true in the finance profession, nor in a world of reorganizations and downsizings.  “Few companies reward employees for being frugal,” Dr. Frankel says.  Yet, I know people whose compensation is directly tied to their profitability, which is another way of saying strategic frugality.  And I’ve never known a CFO to spend lavishly.  The best are usually skinflints.

Speaking of executives, anyone who has read Good to Great by business Guru Jim Collins knows that the executives of truly great companies exhibit what he calls “a compelling modesty.”  In contrast, Dr. Frankel’s chapter on modesty advises women to get rid of it when it comes to business accomplishments.  “Completely, totally, and permanently erase the phrase it was nothing,” she says. Collins says the opposite, but perhaps he’s only referring to people at the top.  Here’s what’s worked for me: Give credit where it’s due.

There’s another chapter called Prematurely Abandoning Your Career Goals, something Dr. Frankel advises against.  Personally, I think the opposite.  I say let them go as the situation changes. Punt if need be.  Our profession is changing through outsourcing and technology.  Our companies are changing.  The positions we once aspired to and the companies we watched may not even exist in the future. What matters is doing what we love and spotting a good opportunity.  I say go ahead and change your goals. The agility will prepare you to seize new opportunities.

Now, the section called Being the Conscience is worth some serious discussion.  Nice Girls says most men have no trouble “bending the rules” whereas women who act as a corporate conscience are punished.  As an example, Frankel uses Sherron Watkins, who spoke at the AFP conference in 2003.  Make no mistake.  AFP strongly supports business ethics and the spirit of Sarbanes-Oxley.  That’s why we instituted the “AFP Standards of Ethics.”  Candidates for the CTP exam are now required to sign an ethics statement.  Ladies, unless you fancy a visit from a gentleman caller named Spitzer, pay attention to corporate ethics. 

On a more mundane level, Dr. Frankel has lots to say about dressing and accessorizing, especially when it comes to brooches.  She cites a speech by Madeleine Alright in which the Secretary’s trademark pin was a distraction. (Albright was another speaker at an AFP conference, you may remember.) At least in Washington, DC, where I live, power pins are common on bothsides of the aisle.  These are often earned for service, presented as tokens of appreciation, the most coveted being those from the White House of any Administration.  Perhaps it’s a Washington thing.

At AFP, we like to think the most important pin you can wear is your CTP pin, indicating you have earned your professional certification.

Dr. Frankel’s other tips include knowing when to speak: “Don’t hold your tongue.” This goes against the experience of most of my colleagues who say there’s often power in letting others speak first.  No matter how nice we nice girls are, we like to have the last word.

Here’s my own tip sheet, a bit different from Dr. Frankel’s, and based on personal experience alone: Spend more time listening than speaking. Tell the truth.  Find mentors wherever you can.  Adopt modesty and give credit where it’s due; that’s how you’ll build a legacy.  Do work you love and welcome new experiences, rather than sticking to an outdated career path.

Meet me at the session Oct. 11 at 2:30 p.m. and form your own opinions. I’ll be the quiet one, the nice girl, the nice girl harboring a few ambitions.  You’ll know me because I’ll be reading Alan Axelrod’s new book.  It’s entitled Elizabeth I, CEO.

Elizabeth Johns is AFP’s managing director of communications.  Her office is situated on a corner.

Dr. Lois Frankel moderates AFP’s Women in Finance Panel Tuesday, October 11, 2005, 2:30 p.m. - 4:00 p.m. at the AFP Annual Conference in San Antonio, TX.  This promises to be an interesting and informative session, dovetailing with AFP's recent Women in Finance Survey.  Dr. Frankel is the president of Corporate Coaching International, a popular speaker and author of several business books geared toward women.